Sunday, December 14, 2008

Barfights for the idk

So the night started with Pete's gracious invitation to me to be his plus one at Harmonix' holiday party. To spice things up, they were giving out chokers and wristbands with little flashing LEDs on them. Being the champ I am, I took as many as I could get my hands on, and wore them on my neck, wrist, and waist. They also had little decorative sticks that are best described as incense sticks with tinsel-like adornments. Naturally I grabbed as many of these as I could find and wedged them into my fly, creating an out of control pubic hair look.

After we left the Harmonix party, we made our way to Phoenix Landing in Central Square where we met up with Chris, Jake, and Dave. My massively blinking self was quite a hit with the ladies, causing all sorts of trouble. I began wooing them (successfully) in the following form:

Some girl walks up and makes some comment on the flashing things.
I say some ridiculous things about where I got them or why I'm wearing them.
Robby: Hey do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Girl: Ummm....ok...
Robby: When was the last time you trimmed your pubes?
Girl looks a little taken aback and there is either a short pause or some attempt by the girl to say the right thing.
Robby, pointing at tinsel-ridden groin area: Cause this is 3 months baby

In general a charming little routine...

So after some time, I do the same thing: I ask a girl if she mind if I ask her a personal question, I ask about her pubes. This girl decided that was not OK, freaked out, and hit my glass, breaking it on the floor and spilling my Jagerbomb. She storms off.

A couple minutes later, some guy, who turns out to be her boyfriend, enters the bar and punches Pete in the face, then Jake, then Chris, before he is restrained by the bouncers. The bouncers ask us to leave, and we comply willingly.

The only part of this story I find disturbing is how the girlfriend failed to describe or the boyfriend failed to find the short brown guy in the loud shirt, lit up like a Christmas tree, wearing a red feather boa.

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